Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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