He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
