it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
