woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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