I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
