I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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