i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
