I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
