If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
