If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
