I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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