what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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