I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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