I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
