I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
