Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I want her autograph on my taint
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
