just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
