Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize