i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
