Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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