i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
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I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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