her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
