He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
