get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
