He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
