mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize