Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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