Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
