just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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