Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
