Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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