you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
