Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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