I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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