Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
