Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
