drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
