So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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