Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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