yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
