he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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