I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
