can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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