Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
