I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize