You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Randomize
