Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
