So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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