ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
