please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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