I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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