I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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