was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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