i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize