Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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