BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
