so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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